Little Jerry Blog

I was feeling pretty depressed about Valentines’ Day coming, so I decided to go to the local watering hole to drown my sorrows. I had a couple shots of Wild Turkey vodka and the next thing I know I am feeling pretty good. I looked down the bar and saw the most beautiful hen perched on a stool. So I fluffed up my feathers and sauntered down to her, thinking my luck in the love department was about to change. I offered to by her a cocktail and she accepted! I made some small talk with this heavenly hen, while the bartender whipped up two shots of Grey Goose vodka. Suddenly, out of nowhere, this guy cold cocks me! A few minutes later, I came to and there is this rooster standing over me. He looks like he just stepped off the cover of a corn flake box.He is crowing at me about hitting on his hen and egging me on to fight him. I got up and began to walk away when I heard him say, “What are you…a chicken? “ That was it! No one calls this rooster a chicken. I turned around and started swinging. The brawl was on! A few minutes later, the police came and broke us up. We were both wing cuffed and hauled away. Apparently, cock fighting is against the law. So here I am, a jailbird locked up in the big hen house with no chance to fly the coop anytime soon. Happy Valentines’ day to me…I hope I don’t drop the soap!

So I met this wonderful woman on vacation. She was pretty quite most of the time, and at first I thought she was frigid and flaky. But given the lack of chickens in the area, she was a pretty hot date…or rather, a pretty cold date. We mainly hung out and enjoyed the view together and after spending some time with her, I felt we made a real connection.

However, despite our obvious chemistry, we just didn’t work out. I am not quite sure what went wrong exactly. We were having a lovely time talking and I suggested we take a dip. I escorted her to the hot tub and and went in to get some towels. When I came back, she was gone. There was no trace of her, she simply vanished. I guess love can sometimes just evaporate from a relationship. I was heartbroken as I had really began to melt for her. 

Sometimes though, when I look up at the sky, I can see her smiling face, like she is living in the clouds and raining down on me. At least I will always have the memories of that wonderful vacation and the time I spent with that special woman.

I am Back! Sorry about the delay in posting. I had to fire my previous publicists and it took some time to find someone of quality to replace them. I had some real professional differences with them from the start, but I am a pretty reasonable rooster so I thought we could surely work around it. That was until they started a little tradition they dubbed “Wingsday”. Now I am not naive, I know what the favorite “white meat” is. What really bothers me is that they flaunt the fact that they eat this every Wednesday. Then to top it off, they rate it! It’s just disgusting. I am sure we could have worked it out if they would have taken the military’s “don’t ask don’t tell” approach. But I knew it was time to fly the coop when they wanted to discuss my blog over lunch.

With that said, I’ve had a pretty busy start to the new year. I made some resolutions and broke some resolutions. I went on vacation and saw a lot of snow bunnies, but strangely no snow chickens. I am now back to work and will get you caught up on what’s been happening. Check back soon to see for yourself how my new year has been. Until then, just say no to www.wingsday.com.